Where have I been?

When I set out to start this blog I had the expectation of writing weekly, if not bi-weekly. This goal should have been something I could have met with such ease. So much of my free time remained consumed with words whirling around my mind until they are formulated into sentences.

However, life hit me in a way I could not have prepared for. At the core of it all, my lack of writing meant a lack of processing. There needs to be a shift. The months have passed me with incredible speed. I stand here, a few weeks from yet another month, and see that there needs to be changed with my writing and prioritizing it.

I silenced myself. I lived in this fear that was to come from all of the change. My last post was a reflection, the one before it? The same. Except these past three months have been more than just a reflection on the past, I have grown.

I moved to New York. I started graduate school at New York University. I have traveled, explored, and seen. I have experienced, learned, and understood. I have grappled with a community, friendship, and love. Everything is new—relationships, conversations, desires— no day is ever the same as the last. Under it all, I have burned. The roots have been scorched, blackened by pain and hurt and from that, I have had a bud emerge.

The past has happened, I cannot change it. I can lie in the dirt that was dug up for me, or I can rise to the occasion that they fear. I have even more in the upcoming year to truly look back on, but I need to catch myself before more and more clouds up my mental state. I created this blog to rewind on my past, yes, but unwind was added for times like this.

So, the answer will remain: I have been living. I have sought positivity with the negatives and I have shown there is no depth scary enough that my soul will not venture to. There is a resilience to me that seems to come out, and the stories from experiences continue to flow. Stay tuned for all that has come into focus while I have been away.

 

 

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